Saturday, August 16, 2008

Entry from June 2, 2006

*sighz* Ok I went to the podiatrist today (see TexSis I DO know how to spell that correctly!). Told him when he entered the exam room that I hated drs, hated needles and really hated peeps messing with my feet so he was like screwed over 3 times already without me talkin to him. He thought I was being funny. He should have taken it to heart and realized the comment would foreshadow how the visit was going to go.Looks like the PCP (personal care physician) and I were right and the lab that did the analysis was total bogus in their results. The problem with my toes is EXACTLY what I thought it was. The podiatrist explains WHY the lab analysis came back negative though. I guess when the dr took the sample she should have taken from the root of the nail and NOT the tip where ya normally cut the nails. Anything on that end of the nail is already dead and will produce a negative reading. The insurance companies have figured this out and that's why they make us jump through the hoops and get the lab work done...because they KNOW the doctor wont take the sample correctly and then they (the insurance companies) can say they wont pay for it because the medicine isnt medically necessary. The podiatrist said that since he was going to numb the toes down for the sample he may as well pull the nails completely out (both big toes mind you) and that he could do it right then and'd only take 10 minutes. Well, needless to say I started having a panic attack...major freak session ( I review...drs, needles and peeps playin with my feet...really kinda like...ummm...hate em). They ended up calling my darling hubby2be in to calm me down. I would guess it was 20-30 minutes when I finally calmed down...well until the dr came back in and Im guessing the look on my face shoulda told him there'd be trouble. Well he tells me he's gonna spray the toes down and give a shot to numb the toe so he can pull the nail out. I managed to take the shot ok but wasnt nearly relaxed to work with. The adrenaline was coursing in me enough where the shot never numbed me....and Im thinking my poor babe is really glad I cut my nails down last week as I left marks on his hand and woulda prolly shredded the arm to the chair as well. The dr said that he could give me some pills to relax and I could come back in a couple hours....I told him if I get out that door way in HELL was I comin back today. He told us there was one other way and that was surgery where they put me completely under. The three of us figured, even though it would cost more, it would be beneficial for me to go this route. So...I gotta go in Weds to have those puppies removed. The thought of it still has my stomach in knots (and my appointment was 830am Thursday morning so what does that tell ya?). I have a hunch I know WHY I freaked like that though. Not only do I hate drs, needles and peeps around my feet in general, but I also had a bad experience with a doctor removing plantar warts off my feet in house like that. That doctor gave me a shot on the sole of my foot and I dont think I was fully numb because I distinctly remember feeling pain that time too. The wart removal had me off my feet for 2 weeks....this one, from the literature they gave me, will have me off 2-3 weeks.....but Im a slow heal so you can bet I wont be able to do much in line of walking for at least a month (that means no shopping with TexSis unless I have a wheelchair).

UPDATE ON GRAMMA: This in from my daddy:

Got home Wednesday morning around 3am. Mom is as good as can be expected, in fact is real good considering. Still has no pains, but does get tired easily. Looking at her you would be hard pressed to know she is sick except for the hair loss. Told her as I left that I was planning on seeing her in August and she said that it was a plan. Had meant to send this off yesterday but could not quite get around to it. Body had not caught up. Talked to her in the late afternoon (she was scheduled for a chemo in the morning and I wanted to see how she felt) She had told the doctor what I said about August and he said that he saw no reason why not. She asked should I start making reservations, and the doctor said it sounded like a good idea. He is a little more optimistic than before but still does not think the treatments will cure, but thinks that the time limit might be extended.In talking with Mom she has stated that she does not want a DNR and will get it in writting for the doctors. She is also "ready" and sounded almost like she was looking forward to going. All her brothers and sisters are gone and she is tired of the rat race and just wants to "get it over with", happy and taking one day at a time.Will keep all up to date as things change.

Daddy mistyped that Im sure....according to a convo I'd had previously with her she had already told me that she was wanting unless there was a change of plans when daddy went to visit her....though I seriously doubt it.

I think Im gonna hobble into bed now...I think Im finally tired enough to sleep.

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