Entry from March 8, 2006

*Sighz* Well yesterday started out wonderful. I was up at a reasonable hour for a change getting things done around the house with my babe. A good friend that lives about 16 miles from us showed up for a visit. She and I went shopping and my babe went to HomeDepot or Lowes or wherever. I bought a nice white sweater, a pair of mint green pants and a great pair of sunglasses that will protect my eyes in the Texas sun AND still look fab! We all met for lunch at Chilis afterwards. MMMM ribs! After lunch she went home and he n I went to WalMart for our weekly trip (Im a tunes hound and am always pickin up new music and Tues is new release day). So basically it started out as every other Tuesday (well except that lunch date...)....but then that evening it took a turn for the worst. I got a call from my Daddy in California. Now, you're probably thinking that it's wonderful my dad called me. Well, calls from home ~normally~ are from mom. *IF* and *WHEN* dad calls, it's usually bad news and if he asks "Are you sitting?" you know it's real bad. The first words out of my mouth were "Who died?". Well come find out gramma (dad's mom)...the one gramma that I'm closest to....the one I worried about during hurricane season because she had to run not once but at least TWICE this last year...*sighz*....had been to the hospital in February for what she'd ~thought~ was pneumonia. Turns out it wasnt that at all. The news was a whole lot worse. Turns out that she's got lung cancer and during this last dr appointment they found a black spot on her liver too. It's no wonder as she smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish all her life. Top things all off it's inoperable and even if it was she'd already made the decision for the dr to not cut into her lung to remove it....something about life already being happy and full for her and she was ready to go home. Right now, we're just at a waiting point. Dad's going to keep me updated....told me gramma wasnt planning on leaving yet. We all know how this disease goes though. I also know this gramma very well. It is very highly likely she's had this for a while and just aint told us because she dont want us to worry. Needless to say, I was very depressed last night and actually made it into bed and was asleep before midnight (my friends can tell you this is very unusual). I just told my babe this morning what the call was about last night and he's being his sweet supportive self right now. I just want to curl up and cry right now. Not just because Im certainly going to lose her alot sooner than I'd care to, but because my fiance is alot like her ...an awful lot like her.....